Saturday, March 2, 2013

What do you do when something stops being effective?

Shake it up!  It seems whenever we find a good system it works for awhile then they start finding a loop hole in our system.  With the choices program they started finding a third option and telling me why that option was the right option to choose!  With the star program they stopped caring if they were getting stars.  They wanted the reward now or they didn't care if they were getting a star to go towards earning a reward.  Constant praise for good behavior and ignoring the bad behavior worked for a bit too then stopped.

I am constantly reading and listening to what other moms are trying and think about whether or not it is something I think will work for the foursome.  I came across this idea of getting an "X" on a chart for bad behavior...talking back, throwing fits, disobeying when asked to do something...and when they get 10 "X" marks they have to give up one of their favorite things.  Getting an "X" didn't seem to faze them...until tonight!

Tonight Matthew had a fit at dinnertime which resulted in "X" number ten.  He was given the choice of giving up his white dog, his special pillow or his horse.  He refused to choose so Ben made the choice for him and his horse was put up for the next 24 hours.  When he was done dinner he went to check his stash and found his horse gone which turned into a huge meltdown.

Shortly after it was clean up time and Ben asked them several times to clean the living room while I was cleaning the kitchen and no one was listening.  From the kitchen I warned them that when I came in the living room whoever was not cleaning was getting an "X".  I came into the living room to find Aubrey had cleaned up all her stuff, Matthew had cleaned up his stuff, Brady and Cameron...not so much.  They were standing in the middle of the living room telling me they weren't going to clean.  Two more "X" marks!  That put Cameron at 10 and he needed to give up something and he chose his pillow pet.  He went and got it but cried giving it up.  Brady still was only at 9 but he chose to give up his Britney dog too.  I tried explaining to him that he still was 1 away from having to give it up but he was adamant that he wanted to.

So, all three boys got new charts hung up to start with tomorrow and went to bed.  All three of them cried before going to sleep because they wanted their stuff back.  I am hoping this will be a lesson learned and they will reign their behavior.  We will see how long this one lasts...any suggestions are always welcome!  We will give anything we think will work a try!

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